The latest news, sports, and weather from professional cobbler Justin Reese.

Tolkien Facts

Tolkien facts: Jeremiah Robert Ridley Tolkien was born in 1797 in Hobbiton Illinois. He got the idea for his magical fairy world from his clsoe friend CS Lewis's Narnia books. He never married nor had children. Readers were amused to discover his Elven language was just English spoken backwards.

The Bias of the Bible

From My Problem With the Bible by Brian Zahnd:

I’m an ancient Egyptian. I’m a comfortable Babylonian. I’m a Roman in his villa.

That’s my problem. See, I’m trying to read the Bible for all it’s worth, but I’m not a Hebrew slave suffering in Egypt. I’m not a conquered Judean deported to Babylon. I’m not a first century Jew living under Roman occupation.

I’m a citizen of a superpower. I was born among the conquerors. I live in the empire. But I want to read the Bible and think it’s talking to me. This is a problem.

Every story is told from a vantage point; it has a bias. The bias of the Bible is from the vantage point of the underclass. But what happens if we lose sight of the prophetically subversive vantage point of the Bible? What happens if those on top read themselves into the story, not as imperial Egyptians, Babylonians, and Romans, but as the Israelites? That’s when you get the bizarre phenomenon of the elite and entitled using the Bible to endorse their dominance as God’s will. This is Roman Christianity after Constantine. This is Christendom on crusade. This is colonists seeing America as their promised land and the native inhabitants as Canaanites to be conquered. This is the whole history of European colonialism. This is Jim Crow. This is the American prosperity gospel. This is the domestication of Scripture.

International Diplomacy


“The New York Times Web site was unavailable to readers on Tuesday afternoon following an attack on the company’s domain name registrar, Melbourne IT. The attack also required employees of The Times to stop sending out sensitive e-mails.” – The Next Web


Dear Angela–

I will not be able to communicate with you further at this address. I cannot tell you why. Let us just say it was an edict handed down from above. Please do not read that as weightier than I intend. I am not saying the Fates would have us be silent, just Judy from IT. As my unspoken sometimes checks my other email address under suspicion that I am playing online poker again, please do not email me there. I will contact you from a new address. Please check your spam folder for a message from a certain Sheldon Cooper (wink). Do you think you’ll be at the conference again this year? Do not reply to this email. That question is more of a suggestion. Also you are not Syrian are you?


deer sheldon.

no. I am no سوريا. I love you so to. pleases send money so show me your love. هل تعتقد انه هو شراء هذا؟ we are perfect together. tell me what you newspaper knows about syria yeah, ok? send me pdfs or good. Thank you. صادق




I love the pictures you draw in your letters! I mean the literal ones, but you also “draw” “pictures” with your beautiful words. Do you know you write poetry? I don’t think you do, my apple dumpling, and I think that makes me love you even more. Do you know what love is? It is trust, and I trust you, and trust that if you ask me for money that you need it. Of course I can send money. As always, I’ve deposited it into my PokerFaceOnline account. You need only login with the previous credentials and have it sent to your uncle in Beirut again. Is this for another of his operations? I do hope it goes well. I love how much you love your family. As you are fond of saying, you are a delight and a pomegranate tree in the desert, a scarf in a cloud of mustard purge (poetry again!).

It’s so interesting you should mention my newspaper’s knowledge of Syria! We just received a “top secret” (laughing out loud) batch of documents via “sneaker net” (human courier) that were not to be digitized for fear of online espionage, can you imagine? Anyway they’re all about some pretty sordid stories of our interactions with the Syrians. “Our” meaning the US Government’s, not yours and mine, laughing out loud again. I’ve scanned and attached them here.

Can you send another picture of you in the blue bathing suit?

Heart palpitating wildly (perhaps I should see a doctor? laughing out loud again)

– Sheldon


Its great the money you send for help. I smile big and my hear is blown. Editor, he is jew? Must know this if we can still be continuing. My exposed body which is female and very female and not under the wearing of clothes is away. I send you picture of blue water suit now. في الطريق الي البيت But you must promise me upon the resolution of this editor jew person.

Uncle says why worry? Do not worry instead watch MTV and write more things about things in shoe message.

Go to doctor like you say now. He takes your blood and sends it to me to use. Ok?


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Older things, my favorite of which are marked

  1. NMHF
  2. What Hurts Means
  3. Push It
  4. Barcelona
  5. Origin Story
  6. Who I Love the Most
  7. Where Answers Fit
  8. Ahem
  9. Mad Props
  10. Chalant Films
  11. The Something Missing
  12. Recommended Reading
  13. Edit Mode
  14. No Dominant Male
  15. The Doing of It Is Very Bad
  16. Make Room
  17. Narayanan Krishnan
  18. Crazy/Happy
  19. A Revolution in Education
  20. Interstate Twitter
  21. JUN 1957 CALCUTTA
  22. Happy Birthday, Tiny Dancer